Skip to main content

The Top Ten Metal Xmas Songs

The ultimate heavy metal sleighlist

Filled with seasonal cheer (and brandy and Advocaat and Walnut Whips), Hammer was inspired to assemble a jolly merry sleighlist of reindeer-ripping metal Crimbo classics…

King Diamond – No Presents For Christmas (single, 1985)

Even on his debut solo endeavour, you can trust the King to tackle such credibility-baiting seasonal high-camp with fearless conviction, nailing the inherent comedy of the concept while still offering up an explosive Christmas cracker of a tune that stands up with his best work, a righteous heads-down barrage of infectious theatrical heavy metal that puts fists in the air and delirious grins on the face. 

Bad News – Cashing In On Christmas (Dub) (Bootleg, 1988)

In the words of Bad News bassist Colin Grigson – aka much-missed comedy legend Rik Mayall –  "My uncle owns the record company and he assures me that was heavy metal." A perfect parody of the artistically bankrupt cash-in Christmas single, this artfully awful ditty is best heard on Bad News's 1988 Bootleg album, with the band arguing all over the playback ("We're a heavy metal band, we've still got some credibility haven't we?").

Nocturnus – Destroying The Manger (The Key, 1991)

Effectively a Christmas carol invaded by crazed, occult death metal brutality, Floridian sci-fi nutters Nocturnus give a surprise twist to the story of the first Noel, the birth of baby Jesus: a robot from the future turns up with a bloody big gun to erase Christianity at its source. How many metalhead parents would like to cast their own kid as the assassin in their junior school Nativity play?

Get Involved

Trending Features