70,000 Tons Of Metal:
A life on the ocean wave, with added metal
Who doesn't love a music festival? Beer, parties, new friends, more beer, more parties, losing your friends... it's the highlight of the summer. But when the festival market is becoming increasingly saturated and we start to see the same headliners revolving around various fields over the years like a musical fallow system, how do you stay fresh? By sacking the field off altogether!
On paper 70,000 Tons Of Metal sounds like the greatest idea ever – 3000 metalheads onboard a luxury cruise liner to Jamaica, getting heavily inebriated to 60 killer bands and working on their tan. And after 70,000 hours of queuing Metal Hammer makes it onboard and finds the nearest bar (of which there are many).
Strolling around the 340m long ship, we meet hundreds of black t-shirted metallers from around the world – USA, Canada, Germany, Australia – who, like us, are loving the delicious irony of what feels like the inmates running the asylum. Metal has never been about luxury, fine dining or cleanliness, but who can turn it down when offered? There's something amusing and warming about seeing the goth brigade choosing expensive perfumes from the onboard fragrance shop or a man in a Gorgoroth t-shirt eating a delicious-looking pink cupcake.
Of course, the metallic nature of our throng is sure to come out at some point. When out on deck for the safety drill, the thousands onboard start chanting “Your boat sucks!” at any craft that happens to sail by this massive vessel. There's also a very metal wedding taking place by the pool with the priest imitating Papa Emeritus and everyone involved wearing the blackest blacks – even the bouquet is black. With hundreds of onlookers cheering you on, where else would you spend the happiest day of your life if it's not in the middle of the ocean, surrounded by your friends and bands?