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The Gospel According To Gene Simmons

"I think that the earth could be improved under a benevolent dictator called Gene Simmons."

His mother knows him as Chaim Witz but to the wider world he’s Gene Simmons, 66-year-old bassist, vocalist and shameless self-promoter of Kiss. Here’s his manifesto for a better way of living.

THE WORLD WOULD BE A BETTER PLACE UNDER PRESIDENT GENE

I’m concerned about the goodness of mankind, and I think that the earth could be improved under a benevolent dictator called Gene Simmons. Sure I do.

PAEDOPHILES SHOULD BE PUT TO DEATH

Paedophilia is an incurable condition – death is the only answer, apart from sending them to the gulags of Siberia. And priests who are paedophiles are the lowest of the low. If you put on a priest’s collar and use your influence to command someone to suck your cock, there’s a special place in Hell for you.

AN EYE FOR AN EYE WORKS EVERY TIME

To me it’s simple – murder should equal life imprisonment, at the very least. If someone picks up a gun and points it at another human being, whether it’s to steal their money or for another purpose, and the other person dies, then they too deserve to die. Or failing that, maybe the parents of the victim could decide whether or not the murderer rots behind bars or loses their own life.

I DON’T BELIEVE ISLAM IS A “VILE CULTURE”

Although two years ago a magazine said that I did. I was misquoted. Believe me, I’ve studied theology and read the Koran. As a religion, Islam is fine. It’s what people do in the name of Islam that I’ve a problem with. I’m Jewish, and Jews believe that in order to get to heaven, one must do the right thing. It’s not what you believe, it’s what you do. In other words, love thy neighbour as thyself.

ZERO TOLERANCE FOR HARD DRUGS

I’m not against marijuana for pain relief but on Planet Gene, drugs would be banned. Not because I don’t want you to get high, because that would be your prerogative, but when you become an addict and getting a fix is all that matters, you are a parasite on society. Let’s create those gulags way up in the cold north someplace, where drug addicts who can’t get clean are sent. If you freeze your arse off, you’ll get straight very fast. The idea of social rehabilitation is nonsense. These people live among us and they’re like vampires – they’ll do anything for a fix.


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