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Official Olympic Swearathon

Beloved Plumber & Spikey Hedgehog Introduce Kids Worldwide To the C Word

Videogames are awful. They encourage kids to steal cars, shoot people in the face and even worse, say naughty words.

Let’s be honest, games are getting more mature these days. Thanks to the M-rating (or 18-rating if you’re in the UK), games can get pretty f**king seriously mature but they still respect that unwritten rule that you never, ever use the worst swear word in the world. Ever.

Bizarrely, the dreaded c-word has popped up in one of the most unlikely places ever – the official, licensed Mario & Sonic at the Rio 2016 Olympic Games. Suitable for players aged 7 and up!

Yes, the world’s most famous plumber and his hedgehog cohort are back in the official Rio Olympics 2016 game, but this time around the family-friendly atmosphere and international sporting togetherness are punctuated by one of the athletes cursing the others out with the profane word that makes Americans tremble and can kill puppies at 100 yards.

As usual, it’s football’s fault. And by football we mean soccer, not the American hand-egg sport. Always the bad influence in terms of behaviour and on-field drama, now soccer is introducing a whole new generation of kids to the biggest, best and most epic swear word in the English language.

Sonic’s rival Shadow is the culprit. Every time the heavy metal hedgehog takes a shot a goal, which is saved, he channels his inner Glaswegian and drops the c-bomb, despite being surrounded by tiny dinosaurs, a qualified doctor and a princess.

According to the UK newspaper Daily Mirror one surprised dad, Steve Jones from Devon, discovered the interesting choice of dialogue while watching his daughter playing the game. He said mildly stunned, "During the football section of the game, there is a specific character called 'Shadow' that every time a shot is blocked, saved or even tackled he would shout the word 'c***'."

While many would view this sort of behaviour with extreme disapprobation, we wholeheartedly endorse Shadow’s use of the expletive, as championing the values of professional international football. It is quite metal.

Besides, Sonic IS a c-word.

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